Regrettable: Man Snorts Line of Cocaine Before Interview
Flint and the Bell Tower Times‘s network of sources have hooked up to get the to bottom of the Australian condition by any means necessary.
Yesterday, Tony, 26, was preparing for an interview with one of Perth’s prestigious marketing firms.
Tony’s preparation was going swimmingly, until he made the regrettable decision to snort a line of cocaine to “take the edge off”.
An anonymous source from the marketing firm told The Bell Tower Times that Tony arrived to his interview 5 minutes late and was breathing heavily and staring intensely at various objects in the room. Sadly, Tony’s late arrival was not his only faux pas during the hour long interview, according to our source, Tony also:
1. Held an unbroken 7 second stare at the female interviewer at the start of the interview.
2. Applied lip balm 18 times.
3. Spoke at length about his amateur boxing when asked what skills he could bring to the firm.
4. Made 3 jokes about wanting a cigarette
5. Drank the entire jug (1.5L) of water.
6. At one point his face resembled something that would eat its own young.
7. Sweated profusely (despite air-conditioning).
The Bell Tower Times asked Tony what he was thinking:
“In hindsight, the choice to snort that charlie was a misguided and regrettable. My guy usually gives me pretty weak blow, so I thought it was just going to pep me up. Little did I know he gave me some fucking scar-face shit”.
Tony got the job, as the Managing Director of the firm not only shared Tony’s cocaine dealer, but was also a mate of his dads.
For the uninitiated, this is how the corporate world works.
The Bell Tower times is run by collective of anonymous and shady Perth figures that have been reporting on ground zero of the Human Zoo we call Australia.
Image credit: Valerie Everett